Saturday, July 06, 2013

The Disconnect

I would imagine my departure from AV probably left some questions for some of you readers.  If ever there was a job with my name on it, this was it.  Nontraditional office; work in the field I love; travel to exotic countries; incredible music for which I got to be a fly on the wall.  So why did I leave?  One major reason was the inability to disconnect.

I could never get out of my virtual office.  From the minute I woke up in the morning, I was in the office.  Even on my vacations, I could never fully disconnect from an office that always was veering from semi-crisis to semi-crisis.  I had two vacations where I still found myself fielding work biz (and a third vacay that simply got cannibalized by work).  I could never disconnect and free my mind, and it was weighing on me.

Granted, some of it was my own fault, and my inability to find coping mechanisms to deal with the virtual office.

One such way I did find was keeping a dumb phone rather than getting a smart phone.  I was out of the office because I could not be reached when I was away from the computer.

But it was wearing me down.  I would pop up out of bed at 6:30am, awoken by the anxiety of what needed to be done.

I could never disconnect when plugged in to the AV matrix.  I even asked for some time away to get refreshed since I was burned out after nearly 2 years of putting out fires, but that was denied.  So I disconnected. I pulled out the plug myself.  And here I am.

And I am feeling much better and much more at peace.  I have even been waking up at 8:15am, which for anyone who knows me, is like waking up at noon for me.  This is a good thing, it means I am more at peace.

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