Down in the canals of the red light district, I witnessed a mallard royale. A barge had blocked one of the canals, and left a traffic jam of white swans and ducks. A cacophony of quaking ensued. The fowls did not take kindly to each other. The white swans had size, and used their long necks and shook their tail feathers at the ducks. But the black and brown ducks had far superior numbers, and overwhelmed the graceful white swans. There was one white duck who had a look of confusion on which side of the pond he fell.